


Thinking

by Leigh Jackwood (Leigh_Jackwood)



Series: The Things I Do [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Monologue, Nightmare, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-17
Updated: 2013-01-17
Packaged: 2017-11-25 21:24:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/643114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leigh_Jackwood/pseuds/Leigh%20Jackwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He stands guard whilst she sleeps ready to wake her when she screams in silence for someone else. Except this time she doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thinking

**Thinking**

 

 

He looks over at her, sleeping soundly, peacefully across the room. She could almost be defenseless if he didn't know that the moment he approached her those deep brown eyes would snap open and he'd be face to face with the Jedi once again. So he stands well back, keeping her safe from a distance.

Not that he would ever tell her he was looking out for her. She still didn't trust him. It hurt but he knows it isn't without reason. He had fired on the Jedi after all. Fired on Him.

She won't mention His name, avoiding it with an almost plague like aversion. She refused to talk about Him, or anything that had happened. Once she had mentioned Windu, once. Occasionally she would quote Yoda fondly, but never tell him anything. He understands, he is ingrained as an enemy. He knows that he has left it too long before finding her. Three years for her to fear his face, to see him as nothing but a slightly more dangerous battle droid.

A Stormtrooper.

He sighs, wondering how long it would be before the nightmares start and he has to wake her from her silent screams. She will only say one word, one cry as he pulls her out of the shadow world she sleeps in. It's the name when she's awake she never mentions, the person he's sure haunts her dreams.

It breaks his heart when she cries out, reaching blindly for a split second before the Jedi returns to her, before she sees him. He knows he's not the one who could make it better, he knows all he can do is stop the nightmares early. She's trying to be strong, trying to make dead men proud but he's scared it will kill her.

He can't let her die before she's made her peace with Him. Before he can get her to go back to whatever exile He chose. After all, she may be the girl he loves but He is his best friend.

Was. Maybe it he is paying back some sort of debt, trying to make amends. That would be a good way to justify it to himself but he's past trying that. He loves her and she knows it. Deep down he knows that's some small comfort, she believes it would keep her safe and it's true.

He's tired of thinking without feeling, of being the Jedi and locking things away. He's not a clone anymore, they made him more than that. He is just tired, tired of running and watching every hope she has crash and burn, tired of seeing her fade and pretend she's going to be alright. So he settles down to sleep but with one last glance he sees her face twist into a voiceless scream. Firmly he shakes her awake.

"Cody?" It's the wrong name, his own name, and he backs away.


End file.
